appearance

Posted by admin on June 28th, 2009 filed in Faith, Taming the Tongue
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This weekend my husband sermon was on appearance, and how G-d doesn’t always see people the way man would. Even some of G-d prophets have jump to conculsion of looking at the outward appearance. He brought up how David came to be the King, ans the process.
On two of my blogs I been asked to write about Micheal Jackson death to be honest I have not much to say about him. I will say I am worried about his children and praying for whoever is dealing with his estate to do it right, so his children do not suffer from their dads debt. The thing I see with Jackson, he had many surgeries to make himself look different, to look good in mans opinion, when he should have maybe been more worried about G-d opinion. We as a nation put to much on celebrities, we place more value on what their doing and then we wonder why so many teens have eating disorders or some other serious problems. This nation needs to get back to G-d and his laws and stop putting everything on fallen famous people.
I am not trying to be heartless to any fans of his, I know there are many people who liked his music and idolized him. I liked some of his songs but that’s because he was a very talented man. G-d gave him a talent and for what ever reason G-d decided this was his end time, why I don’t know only G-d knows how many days we have so we should live our lives and look for HIM and not place so much value in famous people.
Appearance don’t really matter it’s the heart, try that on a greeting cards online and see how many people would pick it. Probably not very many.
My husband made a good point, this weekend about appearance and later that night we talked some with a group of friends. Something that was brought up probably very few churchs are even going to hit on this topic and using Micheal Jackson death because they do not want to deal with what’s happening in the world today.


Sharing with a friend

Posted by admin on June 28th, 2009 filed in Uncategorized
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Today my husband and I had a chance to visit a friend. She is a close friend of ours, and we haven’t really had a lot of time to visit with friends since mom illness and dad moved in. I love my husband dad and I would never change inviting him to stay with us. There are something my husband and I haven’t shared with many people, and I doubt many people realize some of the sacrafices me and my husband have made for the family.
Almost a year ago we lost my husband mom to cancer, and shortly after that we took dad in to live with us. Since mom illness my husband and I have had to be extra responsible and the ones to take care of everything. Since the time we stayed in the hotel by mom close to the hospital my husband or I haven’t been able to grieve or mourn the lost of his mom. It’s been difficult for us, because everyone expects us to keep the family together, we can’t share with other how hard it’s been on us.
So when hubby or I get upset or respond a little shorter then normal people are more likely to take offense with something, and not realize that maybe we are just responding. At first our grief caused trouble for us when it was fresh. My husband and I have been able to work through a lot of the grief, now but we still have some issues.
When my dad passed away from mesothelioma, I never realized how blessed my grandma and I were, we had support from the staff where dad was at. We were able to share. With my husband mom it hasn’t been like this, I know my hubby misses his mom and so do I. I was very close to her, and in many ways her death has taken me back. How have I dealt with the grief, I guess I write, I wrote her a song, and now I can’t find the stupid thing. I brought this up too. My friend told me if your meant to find it you will….
My husband and I both shared how we really felt like during this time we were alone and couldn’t go to anyone not even our Rabbi. Not because of anything Rabbi did but because of how our family made us feel, like we had to be the ultraresponsible ones, we weren’t allowed to show any emotions, me more so then my husband.
I didn’t share with Rabbi or my congregation how I felt because I simply felt like who could understand how close I got to a woman I didn’t grow up with. One thing that hubby mom showed me was unconditional love like no other. When it came her time to pass she wasn’t worried about her passing but about her husband, and family, if we’d all be okay. I made a promise I would take care of Dad, and I have been doing my best to take care of dad. Sometimes I feel I haven’t succeeded.
One thing my friend suggest to both hubby and I is to use our Talents to deal with it. For hubby write about it, and for me write a song about it. It’s amazing how encouraging my friends are for my hobby when I pretty much have well been so discouraged with it that I have pretty much gave up if I want to be honest with myself. I miss writing music and playing guitar or paino but with taking care of dad going to school that’s simply on the backburner.


Being forgiving

Posted by admin on June 22nd, 2009 filed in Uncategorized
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Tonight hubby and I was watching tv together, while waiting for our pizza to be ready. It’s fairly warm so we went to get pizza to go at a place we visit often. It’s got some good pizza and dad likes it there. On the news we where watching, where some drunk had ran over someone wife, here near us. My husband was suprised that the husband wanted to help this drunk man find salvation, and said I don’t think I could do that.
My thought was maybe this is how that guy simply can work through the lost of his wife. Or maybe he feels the man nees salvation more than anything. Just because he wants to visit the guy in jail doesn’t mean they will be best friend but maybe it a way to minister to this person.
Now honestly I do not think I could do that if it was my husband. I would probably be angry. To get me to go and visit the person I am probably like my hubby it would be like pulling teeth at Plano Dentist from where I am at in MN…. It would be next to impossible but sometimes I believe G-d calls different gifting and uses each of us if we allow him. It’s hard to say what we’d do in a sistuation like that..


sickness as punishment

Posted by admin on June 15th, 2009 filed in Faith
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I have ran into a few believers who believe if you get a cold or some other sickness it a punishment for something in your life. Those are usually the believers who try telling people with asmtha they have some magical sin causing them to have asmtha and if they’d just repent it would be there. Now I do believe stress and bitterness can help cause sickness. I know that when a person is stress or holding bitterness it tends to cause the body to feel bad, but I don’t believe it’s from G-d, or it’s a punishement. Sometimes it seems colds or other things similar to that is our body’s of saying take a break. Now I am sorry to say this you can’t tell me a baby or child with illness is being punished by G-d, that’s not the same G-d I know. G-d is compassionate so why would he hand us a snake. He doesn’t want to give us something bad expecailly when we love him. I have a few friends who are believers, who children have something wrong. Sometimes I believe G-d allows it to happen, and that it’s the enemy testing the parent.
The question I have always struggled with is why is he or she so sick. I honestly have to say I never think it’s something the parents do. Instead I more likely to pray for that family, I hope I’d never tell someone it’s their sin that cause it. Sometimes I wonder if G-d allows things to build up faith of those going through it and those who are praying for them. I know when my grandma was very ill praying for her and watching G-d heal her in front of our eyes built my faith. Now when ever I have any doubt I start thinking about what G-d did for my Granny. That build my faith and for Granny it built her and I believe she has found a relationship with Yeshua. I wonder if she ever been on Stimerex ES or what they used trying to fix Granny. In all honesty I do not think anything the doctors did would have help Granny, I think prayer and faith in Yeshua is what healed her.
Now my grandma doesn’t say oh the priest can pray for me, or Mary, John or some other saint or Angel can pray for me, she usually calls me and ask for prayer for her friends or family members who need help. It’s been amazing watching Granny change and boy I have to admit her asking me to pray for her, with out me offering has made me feel great. Not because my prayer did everything but because Granny realized she doesn’t need to go to the Saints or priest she can go to other believers to pray for her or with her. So was my Granny sickness a few years ago because of sin, I don’t know but I believe G-d allowed it to use it to Bless his name, to grow faith in both me and my husband. Maybe to a point showing me, He still heard my prayers eventhough I went through some horrible things and held some bittness and maybe honestly a little anger with G-d. G-d didn’t punishment for that, he dealt with me lovingly and like a father would deal with a child who playing with a hot stove.


Being inviting

Posted by admin on June 14th, 2009 filed in Uncategorized
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Sometimes it is hard to know when your being inviting or being overbearing. I always try to welcome new people and talk to people who are new, if I remember I try to invite them to lunch. It is important to be inviting expecailly in a new congregation where most people are new, and unfamilar with the order. Sometimes visitors will tell me, I don’t know about this or that, and I lately have been trying very hard to make things simple for people, because I know if it seems overwhelming then it easier for people to not want to come back, and frankly I would love to see us grow in size.
Now I know some people think they have to push their beliefs on others and get them to act exactly like they and believe the same way. If questions are ask it a bunch of don’t do this or that and that’s just overwhelming. For me I know when I am needing to change it needs to be something G-d shows me or I learn from the sermon, probably not change when I am told everything I do is pretty much wrong. So I have tried to act more how I want to be treated with the new comes and how I was treated by others when I first started my journey at this church.
It would be like just trying a diet pill with out looking diet pills reviewed and telling people about it with no knowledge.


Smart move

Posted by admin on June 11th, 2009 filed in Faith, Taming the Tongue
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Lately my sister in law has been ticking me off. She has taught her children how to hate people who are simply different. Dad has started going to mine and my husband congregation. He loves it there, and is happy. Our congregation has pretty much accepted and loved him for where he is at and treated him well everyone. They have even tried involving dad.
Well my hubby sister doesn’t like the fact that we are Messianic Believers, who follow the Jewish ways of life for the most. We meet on Saturday and honor the Sabbath, and the other appointed times of G-d. Never once have we told her or her children that they are wrong for what they believe in, or even discouraged them from celebrating Christmas or Easter. Never once have we insulted their church or faith, we have accepted dad and them pretty much for what they are. Dad used to go to the Lutheran church there by them for many years and pretty much stopped going there many moons ago.
A couple of years ago we had her middle child up for a weekend and he made some very hurtful statements towards me about Jewish poeple… I was very unhappy about it and asked him do you realize I am Jewish. I worked very hard on not responding to his hate of others.
Since dad has moved up here and started attending with hubby and I, at first dad was a little unsure about it. Lets face it we aren’t like your typical Christian church, and sometimes it’s hard to follow what’s going on. But Dad tried it a few times, and decided on his own we are not different if you listen. Maybe the day of the week is different, maybe we don’t celebrate Christmas or Easter but we are still following the Laws of G-d and his Word. Recently my sister in law had her middle child call again and tell dad he’s wrong for attending there. Dad told him well I don’t see any difference between your or there church.
I think my husband sister needs to get herself some adult diapers, or grow up and stop spreading hate to her children. She has told dad we where pretty much wrong and some other things which I will not repeat on line because it to nasty to put on my site.
One thing I know from working with kids for as long as I have is that as a parent if your ugly and nasty to people who are different than your child will grow up with the same hate. They learn how to act and what to think of other people. So if you teach them their aunt and uncle are evil because they choose to believe differently than you it’s not what I call a smart move.
Hopefully her children will learn what they learned at home isn’t okay. Dad did tell us there is a difference at our church then his Lutheran church at first I didn’t understand what dad was talking about, but after hubby and he explained it I got it. Dad said it don’t matter what I wear as long as it clean and people still talk to me, they accept me for me. That puzzled me. I was always told in church you wear your best for G-d no matter what it is, jeans or skirt but it better be a nice skirt.
Hubby explained to me where dad used to go to church he wasn’t accepted or talked to much by others. He was treated unfriendly. After having that explained to me, I understood dad needed to be loved by those claiming to know G-d and it wasn’t exactly happening, so Sister in law, here’s how it works. If you claim G-d and treat people poorly, those people will lose faith in G-d and start looking else were or stop going totally. I am glad dad here because he can go to church and never feel unexpected or unlike. Now I know not everyone is going to like the same person, but I also know when people are wounded it makes it hard for them to want to go to church. So Smart move teach your child the way you want but remember they are a product of what you have taught them.


I really didn’t read

Posted by admin on May 31st, 2009 filed in Torah
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I guess I got bored to quickly, this week for the Torah reading. Had I continued on reading I would have got to the Blessing given after service every week but I honestly I am not one who likes to read about numbers of each person and who being counted. I know this sounds bad because you’d think I would like it. This week my husband focused a little on the blessing for his commentary. I will say I am proud of my husband because he has taken some boring things and made them interesting.
I have noticed my husband has grown a lot since given the comentaries at our congregation. I wonder how good he do if he talking about best HGH.


He’s faking

Posted by admin on May 31st, 2009 filed in Uncategorized
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Leave it up to Dad to embarrass my husband and I. Dad is older and well he doesn’t restrain himself very well. He says what is on his mind. The other day he told one of the woman in not so many words she was fat. LOL Grant it the girl had weight problems, but she didn’t need to her it from someone. Today we had a picnic at Church. Dad is well liked by most people, at least everyone I know likes him.
He teases a lot but sometimes he doesn’t realize what he is saying could really be embarrassing or cause trouble. After the picnic it was time to go to a concert at church. So off we went, dad started getting tired. The very last song our guest sang dad blurted out he not faking it. My husband said no he not and dad said something else, so leaned over and told him No he not it’s a track and ask dad if he remember when I brought a CD home for he and mom to listen to. I am not sure he understands, sounds tracks but it was a little embarrassing, at least I doubt the singer heard it at least I hope not. Somedays I feel like we have to apologize for my hubby dad  behavior at church or other pleases.
At least no lighting fixtures had to be changed today.


Reading Numbers

Posted by admin on May 28th, 2009 filed in Faith, Torah
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The Torah Portion this week is in Numbers, this week I have the Torah reading. It’s amazing how much counting there seems to be in the Bible. Last week all the men military age was counted this week seems to be the ones who work in the temple between 30 and 50 years old. 50 seems like a young cutoff age, most men I know who are 50 are still fairly strong and able body. Maybe back then 50 wasn’t like our fifty that we are used to, I can’t remember what the life expectancy was back then.
The only time in history recorded in the bible that counting the people was a good idea, was when G-d order them to do so, other wise it wasn’t pleasant at all and many innocent people died.
One thing I have always wondered is why count the people, because if G-d knows the number of hairs on our head he has to know the amount of people. I wonder if it was more for man that G-d did some of these things then for his ownself. I doubt he was trying to check his math because he wouldn’t need to that would be like running treadmills expecting to run to the beach it would make little sense. Now don’t get me wrong treadmills are great as long as you expect to get no where but burning calories.
I have admit the book of Numbers I have always found to be boring, and hard to read. The only reason why I been reading it is because I have too. I understand some of the Hebrew I am reading but I like to see how much I understand. Numbers I am not good at in the Hebrew language.
This portion seems to do more with the people who work in the temple, I am not exactly sure if they where priest or not or if they were simple people who worked to do some of the tasks, like cleaning, and organizing things.


Update on family stuff

Posted by admin on May 27th, 2009 filed in Uncategorized
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I am on a week vacation, I needed it but financially didn’t need it. I have spend most of my time with dad. This weekend we went fishing with him. Man I have to say Yeshua and his disciples must of had the right bait to get as many fish as they did but then again net fishing is easier then the type we do here. Dad didn’t catch nothing but my husband line and I caught nothing but a couple of fish who got a way. I have never seen a fish jump out of water on a hook. I lost him oh well, all that matters is we had fun, and got plenty of sun.
Dad’s memory has improved some since he started the new meds. He seems more worried about going to the casino because he knows this weekend is a picnic we always go too, I told him now several times we’d go after the picnic and he could have his fun. We are talking dad with us to the picnic because it would be good for him to meet some more people.
My sister in law hates us sad to say because we are to Jewish for her liking and she always complaining to dad about it. I feel bad for dad because he always has to deal with her bad attitude. I have gotten to the point of not even brothering to answer the phone when she calls because I am tired of all the arguments and ugly things she says to me or my hubby. I know it’s not nice to hang up the phone but I am sick of her sticking up for people who have taken advantage of dad. If she had any sense at all she would be defending dad and not letting her friends take advantage of him. She going to have to learn that those friends who only like her as long as they can use dad or her aren’t really her friends because they will be no where around when things stop. I won’t let anyone take advantage of dad because it wrong. It’s amazing how they always cry about how dad had romantic interest in them, when they don’t get their way with taking advantage. I have no respect for my sister in law, and frankly I think she had better find a life and get her life straight because daddy aint going to be there for ever and frankly I aint letting her bring discourse in my family.
The only thing I can do is pray for her and hope that she opens her heart to G-d and learns how to treat people. Boy I really wish I had a sleep number bed, be nice to have something comfortable to pray on.