Being Sensative

Posted by admin on March 6th, 2010 filed in Uncategorized
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I am someone who is sensitive, and take things to heart. I love people for the most but I don’t always let them get close to me. I have started stepping out a lot more, and I know G-d has been healing me.
Today I was talking to a friend she was sharing with me some of her struggles. She going through a hard time, and it’s affecting her children too. She got great kids, and she a great friend.
There is something I admire about her, its her willingness to trust. I do not think I would trust as easily as her. I have a hard time trusting people, but I am someone that people know they can trust. I never give away secrets and pretty much no matter what is told to me I am not going to dislike you very quickly or probably will treat you the way I want to be treated.
I play a online game, and I am known as the nice girl. I think it funny how it comes threw on line too… But some of them think I am trapped in the fifties where there where no Canon camera.


Wow, I didn’t even realize

Posted by admin on March 6th, 2010 filed in Faith
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Rabbi today was talking about Yeshua and the demon posed man in the cemetery. What I did not notice before is that when they saw Yeshua they did not want to be tortured before their time. I bet to them He was like Golden lighting. Well They did not want to go away from the man with out being sent somewhere. What I did not realize is that they made the man hurt himself and the minute they where in the pigs the pigs killed themselves. It must of been horrible for those pigs to act so immediately on what they did. After that the people ask Yeshua to live because of that. Now I don’t know but shouldn’t they be happy the man is no longer a danger to himself or them, but instead they seemed more worried about their pigs.
I don’t know something seems wrong with that picture.


When G-d calls, He calls

Posted by admin on March 5th, 2010 filed in Faith, Family updates
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My husband feels called, but he doesn’t feel he got the Call just yet. Recently my husband has been feeling a lot more encourage with his faith and his calling, not because of what people say to him but because of what he feels G-d has done for him. When he gets his final call we will probably want to look into getting a used travel trailers for the move. I have faith in my husband and have watched him grow a lot.
Last night he was sharing with me a passage in Luke and how some people have misunderstood it or taken it out of context. While if Scripture is taken out of context you can be very mislead. It is important to read the scripture before and after make sure it is in context. Sometimes I listen into conversation he has, I can’t help it it’s hard not to hear him. He is good at explaining things and don’t mind if he has to explain it in more then one way.. Sometimes he has a harder time but he over explains himself to begin with. Sometimes being a leader doesn’t mean you actually have the title sometimes the title is just there. If we step out in faith on the small things, then we will show our selves as being ready and sometimes getting ready is a process which takes a while.


In the mind

Posted by admin on March 5th, 2010 filed in Uncategorized
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You know we can’t even get dad a instant life insurance quote, because he to old, and we now there will be no real help for us. Last week we found out dad is missing about 80 % of what is being said. He is not hearing the consistent only the vowels.
It has been very hard sometimes with dad and dealing with his sun downing. I love dad but right now I am function on no sleep. I think I will lay down in a little while and pick back up on some blogging ideas.
The longer dad stays here the closer I feel to him, and seeing him go through this is very hard to watch daily. Sometimes he is good and other days he is not good.. It all depends if he gets in REM sleep my husband thinks but I think its his brain cross firing and getting confused about the correct reality. I believe he is getting stuck in a past reality sometimes.


writing

Posted by admin on February 28th, 2010 filed in Uncategorized
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Sometimes I write songs, and sometimes during my prayer time I get words or ideas for lyrics. When I am at home I will stop and write it down and sometimes they seem inspired, or whats on my heart but I can’t seem to verbalize it. It’s not like I am trying to rhyme words like phentermine. I did not want to write it down during our prayer and intersession, because i was scared Rabbi would get mad at me. I should see if doing that is okay to do, because sometimes when you hear something it’s easier to write down what you believe you heard. This way later you can look at it again.
My husband thinks it’s okay to do that but I am not sure, because Rabbi can have very different opinions. I know I didn’t write it down until right before I was ready to pray again.


I get it now

Posted by admin on February 28th, 2010 filed in Faith
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This week Rabbi talked on the two house stuff. If this wasn’t a faith based blog I probably call it something a lot worst. I will just put it this way I understand it better now. A few months ago I had someone email me about the two house beliefs, I didn’t know exactly where I stood, so I didn’t give them a clear answer, now I can say right where I stand because I understand it as well as I do exposed acne solution. Well what it is, is replacement theology, okay sorry but no one replaces G-ds promise to the Jewish people. The reason why people long to find the Hebrew roots of their faith is because that where it got started and if G-d is truly leading and guiding us our believes should be very similar because G-d did not change from the Old Testament. Yes you read right he did not change. So since two house is another form of replacement theology I do not agree with it.
I do not believe that Gentile believers are actually Jewish heritage, and that they are one of the lose tribes of Israel. No one replaces G-ds chosen people, and no one replaces his gentile believers neither. We aught to be proud of what we are, and being Jewish or Gentile doesn’t make one better then the other. Gentiles are graphed in, and that is awesome too, because gentiles had a choose of wanting to follow G-d. The Jewish people where picked but I think in a way that different. I know this is coming out wrong what I am trying to say…. But no one replaces who G-d calls and it okay to be what we are.
So the thing is if these people from the lost tribes went to different nations and married into their society those people would no longer be considered Jewish, how could they be with a lot less then 1/10 heritage. You become what you marry into and well if someone marries into something new for enough generation you don’t have the base of what your great grant parents removed about 75times. I couldn’t help but at one point feel like some of these two house people don’t know what it means not to know your identity until your older and find out oh by the way.


I want candy

Posted by admin on February 25th, 2010 filed in Uncategorized
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We have had to hide the candy bars from dad because he eats so many of them and gets blocked up because he refuses to drink enough water, so I started hiding them from him. He lucky he don’t need any acne scar creams because I probably do. Chocolate doesn’t block me up it just breaks me out pretty bad. Sometimes being a caretaker is rough, we used to let him eat as much of the candy as he wanted but got stressful taking him to the doctor every time he couldn’t go because he can’t control himself. I have to say I have actually missed a lot less work because I am not working in the afternoon so it seems the morning shifts works well.
I leave the house pretty much right away and try to be ask quiet as possible. I don’t want to miss work because dad don’t want me to do what I need to do.


Bath time

Posted by admin on February 25th, 2010 filed in Family updates
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Today was bath time for dad and the dog. Now I just have to run the dish washer and then most everything I need to do will be done. I decide it would be a good day to clean out the dog kennel too and wash the bedding. I stopped at the store before coming home, to get dad’s milk and juice and a couple of other things. Work went by quickly the nice thing about my job is I am fairly active so I don’t need a hard weight loss program, to lose the weight I want to lose.
I been trying to eat less but enough to make sure I can last the day. I tried doing what hubby did and cutting down my calories to 1000 lasted a day and I regretted it after going back to work. I needed a lot more calories to make it through the day because I burn more calories then a office job and that the type of work hubby does. He losing weight quickly me it going up and down, must be mussel gain because I haven’t been eating that much and been watching what I eat. Today I am sure I burned calories by washing the mirror in the bathroom after lol i dropped my laundry soap which went all over the place.


Pray one hour

Posted by admin on February 24th, 2010 filed in prayer
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In one of my Rabbi classes we are tasked with praying for a hour a day all at one time. I think this is a good practice to be in and fall out of the practice. He strongly encourages prayer in the morning this doesn’t work for me because the minute i get up dad seems to want to be up. So I like my prayer time at night which is where I’ve had them in the past. I aught to do some serious prayers about adult acne treatment because my face has been breaking out badly lately and it unpleasant. So I been trying to pray my hour this week, and I don’t know why but it seems like within a half hour no matter what time I try to pray I been falling asleep and waking up in the middle of the night. If I pray I fall right back to sleep, so hmm maybe I need a distraction other then quietness.
I might decide to make a worship list on my mp3 player, but the problem there is I might need to find a lot of different songs or I will be singing a long with it. :) I gotta figure out where my guitar cord chart went, or at least my cord book because I can’t find neither and forgot how to play a few cords. I know worship is an effective way of talking to G-d but it also can sometimes become a hinderance for me depending on how much of a singing mood i am in.


Long days

Posted by admin on February 24th, 2010 filed in Uncategorized
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Sometimes having a parent live with you is hard. We took in my husband dad over a year ago now. I hate to say it, in the beginning we went through a lot of office supplies for printing, and other documents. Now things have started to calm down more and we are learning our roles better.
The other day we took dad to Casino and he wanted me to take more money out of his account for gambling the rule is 50 a week and no more. This is plenty of money, and normally will keep him playing for a while. Sometimes we do not have good day at the casino and dad thinks or forgets that there’s a rule he agreed to. Yesterday he started to try to yell at me and I told him That’s not okay, if you have more money know then next week you won’t get to come. He got it after I told him that.
Later we went out for dinner, and he told me thank you for telling me no, and making sure I have all my needs meet. He also said the longer he stays with us the more he falls in love with me. I am glad sometimes he is able to say something, like that so I know I am doing the right thing. It is very hard telling a parent no to something they want, especially when they are a hubby parents because I want them to accept me. I am so blessed they do and did.