Lost friendships

I been thinking a lot lately about one of my friends. I not sure if I should be feeling wounded or if I should well just forget it. One of my friends a couple years ago got involved with a church who told her I was demon possed, and pretty much it wasn’t okay me being of Jewish Heritage. When she first told me what they said I was annoyed and hurt because she had told me she couldn’t be my friend. A few month after this she called me back crying because of a horrible experience at her bible study. I was so glad I didn’t go because had they prayed over me in the way they done her, I would have had some very harsh words. What they did to her was very replacement theology, and you know no one can replace G-d chosen people. They are his this will never change. I guess I been thinking about it because of Rabbi lessons lately.
How can a friend who has been through a bunch with you, we where like sisters. Yet because her church thinks i am too Jewish I am not good enough to be her friend. How can you throw away a friendship one that was solid. We both where there for each other, during many things. My husband and I tried to be there for them, and share with them. I guess this is something I am thinking about because since I moved to Oregon I haven’t many friends, I am rebuilding. I guess I realized just how much my friendship with her has lift a void in my life. I know many are probably asking why do I care if she can’t accept me for what I am. I have asked that too, but when u become like sisters with someone, it does that.
I do not have many friends and have always been this way, it’s okay. If I was to open a restaurant and need a restaurant loans she wouldn’t have been the one I went to, but she the one I went to to share with her when things where going rough. Like now when dad doesn’t know who I am. I guess in a way I am seeing the lost of this friendship, and understanding her replacement theology and seeing that she let it break our friendship. Am I mad at Christian, no it’s not everyone fault am I mad at the bad theology in the church yup. This is damaging and unless we start opening our eyes and realize no one no nation will replace G-ds people then I guess his Truth will not be known well.

Walking in faith

Sometimes walking in faith is difficult, because it is easy to lose sight of things. One thing I appreciate about the congregation we are attending is that there is a time of prayer to pray over needs of the members. The congregation is small enough to be able to do this with, it small enough to share needs, but something tells me this little congregation is going to grow to be to big for doing this corporately like we have been doing. We are newer there, and it seems like everyone there is compassionate and understanding. Funny thing is I feel more free to ask our new Rabbi questions and not so intimidated, I know if I ask it wrong he probably not going to think I am looking for a argument but will ask me further questions. This is a good quality to have and I appreciate it. Not saying I couldn’t go up to our last Rabbi because I could and did, but I don’t know it just seems easier here. Today I realize how similar to Rabbi wife I am in some ways and had to laugh because a story he shared reminded me of my husband and I.

Being honest

Lately school has me stressed out, my practicum class last week felt like a big joke. Saying this my professor is great, he not a problem, he actually been great and understanding. I have became very stressed out because it feels like I have more obsicals in this class then any other class. My partner dropped the class, with out no notice that she done that. Talk about leaving me in a leerch i have know fall behind not only on the practicum site homework but individual assignments tomorrow I will catch up what I can with my new partner. I had 3 interview this week. Well one of the interview was a second interview. In one interview I was prayed for, not used to that but I think the guy got the prayer pretty right because of how he prayed for me and I appreciated that prayer.
I think I have find a good site for me to serve at now just the background check and everything should be better then Christmas on a snowy day.

Oh no you didn’t just do that

Dad will never cease to find ways to embarrass my husband or at at church. Today he cussed at some kid and kindof threw his cane, yep that dad for us. They are merciful where we are attending and I am wondering if this is attention seeking because I was talking to other people and so was my husband. I just happened to hear him speaking rudely to a kid who was helping out at church which isn’t very nice. I hate apologizing but most of them if I explain what wrong with him they understand and are compassionate and merciful.

Already worried about Passover

I have to admit last passover was rough. I did not like the gluten-free matzahs for passover. They had a funny taste. So hopefully this year I find something that is not to bad. At least the wheat matzah taste good and don’t leave a bad taste. Passover is normally when I like to do my deep cleaning, it seems I might not need to do that here, i been doign pretty good at keeping the apartment clean. The rug got done recently because the bathroom over flooded. They did a good job on, and carpet cleaners chapel hill nc is a little to far away to help with cleaning that but now I know a rug that needs serious cleaning.
Well i guess I will need to start looking for the gluten free ones soon because i been told by a friend that they are hard to come buy. Probably not something I will buy last minute. If anyone has any suggestion fell free to leave them.

Let your words be your truth

Last night I was talking to a friend, on a game I play. Yes I enjoy playing games, with a little bit of free time I have. I have friends on that game that know if I say I pay them back or help them I will, might take a while but it does get done. My friend has been putting to much faith in people, not everyone can be trusted online. Online I try to be the same person there as I am in real life. I started playing games on line as a escape from reality of home life, not that it bad. It sometimes difficult, and I can’t always go out and be with friends. Well right now I have very few friends in this area, and if I was honest I would say I have no friends. I have some friendship starting but they are a couple month old, and well gotta be honest, it not easy to share some things. At our new congregation we’ve let people now some of the struggles we have incase dad says something. Sometimes he can be very racist, and say hurtful things. So there been a couple of people we’ve had to give a heads up too, dad would never mean to hurt them by his words but those words would be shocking and hurtful if there was no warning..
It is amazing how often a person will say I will do somethign but never follow through with their words and a lot of these same people claim to be followers of the Messiah.

Family adjustments

We have lived her for a few months now, dad is adjusting well. He more confused about things, but I think that would happen anywhere. We are more worried about him saying something at church than anything especially to someone who is not white. He sometimes says things very racist which is hard to deal with and we don’t want people having their feelings hurt. So far we’ve let some people know whats happening.
My husband is doing well, not sure how long it will take for his writing to take off but he doing good. He walking almost everyday with me. We not always getting along well, but oh well we get along pretty good. He gonna have to figure out a valentines day gifts ideas for her….
I am doing pretty good school is going well.

Interesting

Yesterday I learned another meaning for the world shalom, which is welfare, of the person. I knew peace, contentment, wholeness, but not welfare. This week the message was about the Torah story of Yosef and some of the early troubles he was face with. Some of his troubles he probably caused his ownself and some was because of a lack of understanding, I wonder if they would have changed how they responded had they known. One of my homework assignments recently asked me how I would change a situation i hadn’t handle well. To bad we can’t go back and change our actions.

Once you purchase a piece of furniture its you don’t matter where it comes from it better match well with your other things, even if it comes from los angeles furniture. So I wonder how Yosef would have changed, if maybe he wouldn’t have told his family his dreams that he had. I also wonder how his brother would have changed their behaviors if they could go back and fix it.

Hanukkah almost here again

This will be the first Hanukkah, I will do totally gluten-free. I am not sure how I will like that because boy I love the deserts this time of year. I could tract all the yummies I like on a michael kors watch because there so many tasty things. Oh well I have some nice things I can eat.
One thing I have been thinking about with Hanukkah, is the people there at the time. They didn’t want to bow down to what man wanted and didn’t want to worship false gods. They stood strong in the temple, and only had a little bit of oil. This oil lasted a lot longer then it should have, at the time.
I wonder what things would be like if we would stand our ground the way they did over Hanukkah and not wavering away form what G-d has instructed us to do. Yeshua and his disciples celebrated this holiday. Since I have already talked about it in a previous post I will not post the scripture again, because that post is easy to find. This holiday is one that teaches us of G-d’s protection and how he provides when there is clearly no way that man can make it work out for them. It shows G-d faithfulness to his people when they do as he instructs them.
Recently I heard a Rabbi say the Torah not a law but instructions. There are things that are still to be followed, and things we can not follow because we don’t live in the land or because we simply can not. However every promise G-d has made there been a condition it’s the same when you believe in Yeshua there is a condition. We have to walk out our faith. I have said this many times, we have robbed our selves of G-ds feast and festivals, his appointed time. Since I have started observing these times I have been blessed, I have learned. There are blessing in his holidays and celebration, and I wish others would see that, would understand it.
Hanukkah, is a great example of how G-d provided for his people, how he brought them through a time of struggle. This is one of the holiday we celebrate I do not think is commanded to celebrate but considering Yeshua celebrated it I think it okay if I do. I know he didn’t celebrate Christmas, or Easter, and well who would never have. We are told not to celebrate the way pagans do and those two holiday got their roots in pagan holidays. I have wrote about this too, in previous blog post. Feel free to look it up.

Having grace

Having grace is important, especially with elderly members. One thing I appreciate with our current congregation is they are graceful and sometimes I think my husband and I might have more issues then them. Dad can be rude at time and very unkind, it is embarrassing to us, and we worry that they might just us because of him. I know we should not be judged by someone else actions but I know we have been in the past. My husband is more open then me, I tend to not let people in as quickly has him. I am protective of my family.
If I had a pool I would get a pool fence arizona with a lock to protect dad from himself. Sometimes doing what is best for him is hard because he fights us tooth and nail. He makes scenes and this unsettles my husband and I.

This weekend he felt he had to tell our table Rabbi needed to shut up and let us go home. A few people looked at us, and those at our tables kind of did the agree with you because we not really sure how to respond. At least they where older ladies and no children at the table. I worry if we set with young people.