It has shaped me

You have heard me say often that growing up hasn’t been easy, I have shared some on this blog. I had ran away when I was 16 to live with my father family just to have him die. Everything I have experienced has made me the person I am, It has shaped me. I have a lot of good memories, but I have a lot of painful memories. When I was about 4, I had my first G-d experience at that time I knew I was never alone, no matter what happened to me.
My mom and dad got a divorce when I was about 2 years old and then my mom found men who were very bad. I am not sure how she managed it but every single one of them did not believe in G-d. The first one abused me, I kept that a secret for many years, because I was scared of him. He was a police office for a rail road. I was able to pick up on things before they happened growing up eventually I learned to not say G-d told me, because they tell me their no such thing as G-d. He died when I was 11. Then his family came in and took everything from my mom and us. By the time they lift we didn’t even have a TV or anything they took everything out of the safe. We know he had some bounds for us to girls but oh well, his family can have it. I have forgiven his child because I am sure she was done the way I had been. When children have their trust broken by their father it causes them to become mean and bitter.
A few months went by and my mom meant a other guy, he was a nightmare. He didn’t really abuse my sister or I but he did my mom. He threaten my sister who was my mom favorite and mom eventually lift him. He had abused my mom several times. She finally lift him and shortly afterward my sister and I meat a guy who we thought be great for mom. After all he helped us when we where in trouble.
We eventually introduced him to mom, and they hit it off. At first there seemed to be no problem he was our knight in shining armor. Little did we know that he was into Satanism. My sister found his bible for lack of better word and told me about it, at that time I was worried but still liked him. Soon after things started changing. He was no longer our night in shining armor, he had done some horrible things to my sister, and introduced drugs to my mom and her. This lift me, I refused with the notion of I am G-d child and I won’t do that.
My sister finally ran away and honestly her life was so much harder then mine, but I used to be angry at her because she lift me alone with them, and was no longer my protector. When we stuck together we where safer. I understand why my sister ran away. My sister stayed on drugs and did anything to get her fix, it was horrible. she stop talking to me for about 5 years and was angry when I lift for dads.
Mom was so brainwashed by him, I know he did things to keep her submissive, and not knowing or realizing what was happening. The last night I lived there with them, I had to go. No one believed me, they listen to him and her. Then I was sent to one home after another. It is a miracle I never went to drugs because I know I wanted to drawn all the hurt and anger I felt toward them.
My mom and sister never had drug treatment but they became sober on their own. My sister found a great man, who saved her life one night. I believe he was who I was praying for. My mom gave up drugs for her now husband, He had told her once you lost your girls, and you will lose me if you don’t stop. My mom stop she had saw she lost both of us girls and didn’t want to lose him. I personally don’t like my step Father but at least he don’t hurt my mom, and I know he why she clean. I am proud of both my mom and my sister because they over came a lot of stuff. There are many more things which have shaped me, but that would require this post to be to long.