Struggling this week

This week seems to be getting harder and harder. I have posted some of my struggles. The beginning of this week I fall at work. Praise G-d nothing was broken, just badly bruised. I did find out that my blood pressure return to a healthy level. Which is good but I found out I gained 3 pounds, time to get serious about losing my weight, maybe diet pills, eating right and exercise will work better then what I been doing. We won’t get into how I have tired to lose weight but it clear my body decided to store up my fat because I am going about it all wrong.

Today we got a call from mom, we found out what her spots were. I already knew what the diagnosis was before anyone told us. I told my husband what it was but he wanted to hold on to hope and not jump to conclusion, sometimes I hate my giftings. My husband Mom has a roaming cancer which may be a recurrence of her breast cancer from over 20 years ago. You would think this would be easier for me to handle, that I wouldn’t feel how I do, I feel maybe a little shocked not sure why. I think if I admit it I am a little annoyed with G-d. But I know I can go to HIM and be canned with Him and he won’t be shocked, or angry. Might give me a similar speech to Job but honestly doubt that one.

My husband mom really needs prayer, and I hope people who read this will be willing to pray for someone they do not know.
My husband needs prayer this is his mom, and he is close to her. This hasn’t hit him yet, even though I told him, right away when I knew it was bad. I was honest with him, but it’s different hearing it from a doctor or your parents.
I need prayer so I can be a better wife for my husband, and that I can handle this and be strong for him. Right now I need to be strong for him, and I can’t be weak, I can’t fall apart.

To be honest I never really dealt with my dad’s death from cancer, and this is bring up a lot of those feelings.
Even with everything I know G-d is still G-d, He won’t leave me. I know he is still in control. I don’t know why he allows things like this, but I am guessing it’s because of our Enemy. G-d allowed Job to be attacked horribly by the Enemy and I guess he can let us be too, maybe to prove or faith to HIM or to grow our Faith in HIM.