Maybe hospice needed that gift

It’s amazing how words can really hurt a person deeply. I am worried about dad, because of words people have spoken unwisely toward him. I know in the Bible, we are told our tongues are like a flaming sword or something, along that lines and it the one thing that can’t be tamed. I know this weekend I had to bite my tongue a couple of times, and I really had to listen to the Holy Spirit because their were a few times I wanted to open my mouth and chew someone a new one.
Some of dads so called friends and a couple of family members had the nerve to blame him on mom having cancer. They have spoken unkind words toward him, which he took to heart. Normally dad doesn’t share, and just leaves it bottled up. I am someone that sometimes I can feel pain or sorrow coming from a person, I guess maybe hospice needed that gift on Monday. They could have saw how hurt dad was by their action. Shoot I don’t need G-d to show me that much, because it was rather clear and dad is not a type of person to have a melt down. I have seen him cry two times since I have known him. Once when his wife had a stroke and once here this weekend. I am still angry with Hospice, and how they handle every one but the patient. Dad needed to be told it was okay and he did his best, not to feel like because he needed to be away from home, and couldn’t pick mom up or move her when she needed that he had failed as a husband, in not so many words. Mom and dad didn’t need to be called a lair, which is what pissed me off.
I thought a grief counselor or hospice was supposed to be there for the family, not to unvalidate the family feeling. I don’t even care they didn’t offer to help my husband or I afford the cost of needing to go down after one of their nurses told us mom wouldn’t last pass the weekend probably she only had a few days. Okay I don’t mind because she at home looked like things were heading that direction. I am not even made they removed mom out of the house, I would have to and feel they did the right thing. So how come I can be nuetural with them, and understand why they did thing. Listen to what they have to say and pretty much try to place myself away from how I feel about them. Am I being impartial now, no I don’t see any need to be that way right now, around them I was. As family I could have easily told them Hospice is their for the whole family including the patient and if you can’t separate this fact then you aught not to be in both roles.
During this whole thing mom faith is so strong. One of our relatives had told us someone needs to be in the room 24/7 either us or dad because mom was scared of dieing. Mom told us no I am not scared of dying I am going to be with Jesus, I know where I will be. She told them there was nothing to be scared of. I wasn’t there because I was playing grief comfort for dad. After this weekend I am not sure how good of a counselor I will be even though it where my heart is. Mom later told my husband her son, there nothing for me to be scared of, and maybe that person is scared of what’s happening because she don’t know Jesus like I do. We have never heard mom say anything like that about anyone.
When someone is removed out of the house expecially with no one there, leave a note. Dad could have read that and went to the hospital grant it that a natural assumption to make, but then to call them and have them refuse to give information, because someone else was listed. I am not made at the person listed on mom that was meant as a temporary measure for a injection to kill mom pain. She was the only I had to listen to the L-rd with because I felt angry that it took my husband and I at least 40 minutes with hospice of we can’t tell you nothing.
I finally told her Listen we are the power of medical attorney, we are her son and daughter in law, and when we went there Sunday things seemed not good but not that bad. I told her not knowing is not fair to us. She said she was sorry but those where mom wishes. I know for a fact that is wrong, I got a little annoyed by that finally we was told and lead to the impression that she didn’t have long.
She don’t have long but we rush out Saturday and stayed for 3 days.. We got back home last night.
Sometimes we need to please ill thoughts of people in the litter box, and leave them there till we can deal with the feelings of everything.
It is amazing how the hospital thinks we are welling to go to hospice after what happened, I am sorry if I want grief support I would rather not have it with hearing, we are not her for you, that not what we do. So if your only hear for the family why does it say you here to help the family with the grief.
I am glad my grandma has such a huge change in her life over the last couple of years. Grandma has been an example of compassion. I ended up calling her because I needed to talk to someone who was not their to be on one side or the other. I gave dad her phone number, I am not setting dad or grandma up, *laughing* Granny would probably kill him. My thing was making sure dad had someone to listen and accept what he had to say with out judgment. I am not saying I want him to just hear all the good and great things, I want them to be honest but honesty with compassion and not making him feel he is at fault. Guilt is the heaviest burden to carry around when a love one dies. My problem isn’t mom being forced to be in a home, even though she wants to be at home, because the safest place for her now is at a rest home. A rest home will take care of mom basic needs and she’ll have help because now she at a point where she needs more help then dad can give her. They did what was right by mom until they upset her by calling her and dad a liar.