Dealing with grief

Losing a parent, wife or husband is very hard to deal with, losing love ones hurt and sometimes grief shows in many different ways. Right now we have dad staying with us. I am very worried about him, and his mental or emontional well being. He was married 55 years, and in the last 2 months or so has lived with 2 different friends and that is just another stress. He feels no where he goes is working, and worries about the dog, the only good solution I can come up is either just try to make it work out where he is at until I can find a place, keeping him with the dog; or come and stay here with us and I contact one of my friends who I believe could foster shadow his dog for a little while. I know dad don’t like the cities but I believe his emontional health if he isn’t with family that understands there will be days he is sad and grumpy and days he will seem just fine.

When dealing with grief there are days that sadness is overpowering expecially when you been married as long as dad. 55 years with the same woman, and about 50 of those in the same home. He has experience some much change that moving is a stress which isn’t healthy for him, it’s an additional stress. We recently became his Power of Attorney. He made statements to his Son you let your wife do it because she does good at it, thinking that focusing only on his stuff will give me what I need as far as income.

Dad is a good man, but grief does things to people. He talked about not wanting to go on several times, and this is what scars me or worries me for his well being. I let him know how important he is to craig and I and that with out him we wouldn’t be okay, we need him. I know a lot of what dad has been saying comes from the lose of mom. Mom made him a lot of what he was, and now with out her, he feels lost and alone.

In the bible we are told to take care of the Widow, I don’t think G-d instructed this just for the women of that time but also the men who lost their love one if those men where not able to take care of themself. G-d has been fairly clear of how our parents aught to be treated also, so the question is how do we honor our parents and take care of our widows. It not easy, because when they hurt they can lash out to those they love the most, or they can pick the wrong choices for their well being leaving their children to have to protect them or try to get them into a better place. So how do we honor dad, at the same time of protecting him. 

The people he moved in I have heard a lot of bad reports about them, some report dad saying not true, but some reports which dad says is right even if dad would have said they weren’t we’d know them to be truth. Last night I let dad now this home is open to him as long as he needs and once we get a little more money, we would buy him a higher up air matress and i would clean out my office space, and most of the closet in there and let dad have this room.

Maybe I should see if I can get free term life insurance rates for dad, hubby and I. Just incase something happens, this way we won’t be totally lost. My husband and I will have to some how let him now how valuable he is to us, and we will have to see him through this, but I am wondering at what point do I say it is time to reach out for professional help.