Healing old wounds

Old wounds sometimes take a long time to heal, sometimes it not just as simple as G-d heal me. I am not saying G-d can’t heal instantly but I do believe sometimes our minds are programed to the old messages we have received from those in our past. I think sometimes there are wounds or things we inflict on ourselves which heal easily but there are some wounds that do not heal. I know how to prevent hair loss, I know that pulling on my hair will cause it to fall out so I know not to do that. I know repeating bad messages will cause me to be in the same position as I was in. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. Those bad messages are always going to be there, but what I do with those messages can determine how easily G-d can heal me. Well today after prayer one of the worship members had a word of encouragement for me. Which was nice, especially since I started the worship team with a misunderstanding, but that was pretty much solved. I know how to blend well with people and sometimes that makes it hard for some singers, especially when they think they are not hearing themself, so I back way off because I felt like I was being told I was making it hard for them. Then I was told I needed to sing louder, I am one known for if I can hear my voice loudly I back way off or if someone tells me they need to blend with someone else. Well this isn’t always good, and I let nerve sometimes get the better of me, I have improved a lot over the years.
I had a chance to share with him, and gave him a good idea of how to best pray for me. I also shared with him what was going on in the home. It has been a little hard this week to say the least, so it nice to be able to share with people. I have recently started being more open, so I see the healing I have done since I been there. I haven’t seen it in all areas, but I know those area will come soon.
After that I went down and talked to another couple of friends, who we’ll be celebrating the graduation later with. I was sharing with them my experience there and my experience at the Bible college I went to, it is amazing how much damaged was done to me. I still remember my first night of class and my enrollment counselor gift a little mustard seed coin. I still have this coin and probably will always have it because it a reminder I just have to believe and trust and it doesn’t have to be a great amount of belief just a little bit. I am still careful who I befriend or let close to me. Some wounds take a lifetime or a long time. My husband said that I was permanently damaged or something, No I wasn’t I was just wounded seriously bad and now I have to heal totally and that not going to be overnight, shoot its been 5 or 6 years since I started there, and I know I am safe there. I have completed my degree and I am looking forward to starting my next degree because you know I am smart enough to get my degree. I am talented enough to be used by G-d so to that person that told me G-d can never use me, I am not talented enough, and to the one who said I was to stupid to Learn. Nope I wasn’t to stupid to learn I just was unwise and believed what was said to me. But G-d can use me if I choose to let him use me, and G-d Doesn’t if I am not perfect or if it takes me longer to get it down. He still Loves me and I will always be His servant.
I can’t say this to the person who wounded me but I can say. G-d use the unacceptable in your eyes, and maybe concentrating on taming the tongue is really what should have happened. If a person is tear down a person they might value your opinion and this could cause them to not be effective in the Gifts G-d has given them. We are to encourage and edify the body and not tear it down. I also forgive those in my life who have brought me hurt. I now know not to listen to everyone. To those who feel you can’t do it. All you need is faith the size of a mustard seed and you’d be amazed. I am still amazed I graduated from college with a strong GPA.