Why is Forgiveness so important

I have been thinking about forgiveness this week a lot and why its so important. Why do we need to forgive, and who is it really for them or us. Now forgiveness doesn’t mean you put the person back to the same place as they where especially when that person has harmed you in a way that destructive. I believe sometimes forgiveness is to mend fences and bring healing to relationships when this can be accomplish but sometimes it can not be accomplish. When someone tries to kill, rape, or abuse you these are the hardest to forgive but we still must forgive, but they must stay out of our lives for our own safety. I was raped in my early 20, it was hell because it was by someone I looked up to and respected and who claimed to be a prophet of G-d. I will not get into what all happened, because it won’t change nothing about the need to forgive him, and for any young readers who read my page. I do not want to damage them by showing them how bad the world can be. This week I met a dear woman, who been through what I have been through. I saw a difference between her and I and I saw me in her about 5 years ago, before G-d told me I had to forgive that person. Will I ever let him in my life again and restore his place in my life no, G-d didn’t say that. I have always wonder why G-d said I must forgive this person when he used G-d name in vain. I know G-d told me what I needed to do and revenge was for him, so was judgment. It took me a long time to forgive, and I have to say the bitterness I had isn’t there. I believe G-d tells us to forgive for our own hearts and mind, when we are holding hate and unforgiveness in our lives this causes us to react and behaved as a wounded person. Wounded people, wound others, or if they are like me they just do not trust anyone and keep everyone at a distance and do it in ways where people simple do not want to try to get to know them.
Before I forgave him, I was bitter and angry and when someone would say something to me, I would respond. I cannot say I ever inflected physical pain on someone because I never want to be the one that does that but emotional pain I could dish. How did I forgive him, with G-d help, when I felt G-d say do this I pretty much told G-d I couldn’t with out his help. I am happier and healthier too. I also don’t feel as much guilt as I used to. I still sometimes when people say things that are stupid about victims have to bit my tongue but I do not take it personal like I used to, I get annoyed more when I hear someone who been harmed being told it was their fault. This I have a lot harder time dealing with, not because it makes me feel guilty but because I know the shame and guilt that person going through and they do not need any more added on by unwise commits.
So I believe forgiveness has two functions one is for our own good, and the other one is to mend relationships. Even if my attacker where to want to apology I wouldn’t want to see him, because I can’t trust he really changed. Now forgiveness with wisdom is one thing. I do believe that pastors and other clergy need to more schooling on this and how to help heal the wound and not ask well how could you allow that to happen, because it not something that you simply allow. It’s a lost of control in life and one of the worst feelings I have had to deal with in my life. I mean its not like breaking your favorite pair of
Christian Louboutin shoes, or your favorite china dish. It like something that so deep, that there is no need for further damage. I have found forgiveness to be healing because allows you to move on, and get a closer relationship with G-d. I know my relationship with G-d was damaged, I believe anyone who hasn’t went through this even if G-d name wasn’t used for the act have a hard time keeping their faith in G-d. I get it, because I asked the same questions about my faith. I was even mad at G-d for a long time, because he allowed it. I like what one of my friends told me, he was working on a music career at the time I should look him up, and see how he is doing. He told me something along the line of sometimes people do not yield to G-d and their free well overpowers someone else, and it not the well of G-d for it to happen. So coming from a place of understand forgiveness is healing for us, not always for the person who done us wrong.