Feelings of guilt

I have been feeling on the guilty side. We were unable to see my grandma before she passed away. This Friday once again i thought about calling her about dad. I couldn’t but it brought the pain right back. Before she went into a home, my uncle asked me to come out and help. I will always help my family if I can. I know I did the right thing for grandma but I still feel guilty. I helped them come to the decision of placing her in a home. My uncle who lived with her couldn’t leave the house for 5 minutes with out being called. He couldn’t even give his poor dog a walk outside to relieve it self. Granny was a strong woman. She took me in as a teenager, and she was like a mom to me. When we was there the last time she did not want my uncle to leave even though Craig and I was there with her.
I had asked her why she didn’t want my uncle to go. She said she was scared. I told her Craig and I was there and it be okay if my uncle went for a little while.
This is the same requirement my husband and I have set if we can not leave the house, then dad care is beyond our capabilities. I just feel guilty because I am caring for my husband dad. Yeah sometimes I feel like I fail him because he stubborn.
We were not able to go back and visit granny again because my husband lost his job, then we decided to move here. I couldn’t even get there to visit her. I knew this would possible happen, but there is no closure. I will have to work through the guilt of telling my aunt and uncle that grandma shouldn’t be at home, because it was to much. My grandma was one who before the nursing home was able to use some simple Cell phone accessories but then after a while she didn;t even know which way the phone needed to be held. There were days she didn’t even know who I was when I called.
Her not knowing me was painful, so i pulled back, and maybe more of my guilt is over the past year I pulled away. I stopped calling her as frequently. Maybe had I called her and talked to her more often when she started getting sick I would have realized and could have said something. I know granny might not be mad at me, for the decision I helped make especially now. She would understand I did what I felt to be best for her. I know this on a rational level I am able to reason it out, but on a emotional level I struggle with the feelings. I will greatly miss my Granny, and I am so grateful that she supported me. When I say supported I don’t me giving me things or money. I mean she was there for me to talk to, she encouraged me to reach for my goals even when I thought I was to stupid. She never saw me as a problem teen, but a free spirit. She saw my good qualities when everyone saw my reaction to hurt and distrust. She just saw it for what it was, hurt and distrust not that I was being a bad person, but that I needed someone who wasn’t just gonna give up and throw in the towel as so many others. I think my grandma is one of the few people I really attached to as a teenager.