FinallyMessianic.com » In Vane

No more bible college for me

admin — Sun, 08 Aug 2010 02:39:29 +0000

Today I was sharing with some people and someone bless their heart had suggested I go to a Christian college for my master in counseling. Everytime someone suggests I go to a Christian college I just want to crawl out of my skin. It took me a long time to even go back to college and with much encouragement from my husband. I still feel at times I am not good enough or smart enough, because of the words spoken to me by those in spiritual leadership. I wasn’t just told G-d could never use me, that no producer would be interested in my talent , ect. Someone in the psychology department told me I was too stupid to be in college. After so many negative words being spoken to me there I started believing this, and I still struggle with not believing those words, even though I graduated with a solid GPA high enough to get into almost any Master program I want to get it. I do not want to go to any Christian college because I have found secular colleges don’t care if you are “stupid”. The UOP never told me, I was stupid when I struggled to grasp concepts or ideas, they spoke with me never once making me feel inadequate to do the task at hand.
It amazes people when I tell them what I went through in Bible college, because this wasn’t Christ like behavior, and it caused me damage. I have gained a lot of confidence but I am terrified to leave UOP and go to another school because I am scared I will hear those ugly words. Of your not smart enough. Well maybe my intelligence shouldn’t have been question but the inability of the professor to explain things in a way I understood them. The your not talented or what have you.
Something I remembered today which I had forgotten for a long time. Was I was helping with worship at a church where they were close to some in the music department and I was told, “you’re not one of the top 2 best singers so you can’t sing anymore.” I think we as believers need to be careful of the words we speak. The words we speak can damage someone.
Yes I know I should not look for man approval, and I get after my husband for it. I have hide a lot of myself from people at church to try to protect myself, because I do not want to be hurt again. I have recently started allowing people to know me.
One of my friends at church pretty much told me today he was going to encourage me through my Master Program, which is nice. I know I can do it. The question is will I live in fear which eventually could give me serious problems. I can always just go for it, apply at other colleges for my master in Counseling or Social work, and pray they will have the same values but sadly, I do not think I will get it from my Brother and Sister in the L-rd and this saddens me.
I am honest about, I know I wasn’t the best student the first time I went to college. I didn’t know my learning style was and how to use it. I also went to a school that thought Dyslexia meant I was less of a person. I am not saying they should have kept me in the music department but then again they should have never accepted me into the music department if I wasn’t talented enough to begin with its not like I am something who doesn’t have feelings. I might not look as good as Hon office furniture, but I have my own quality. I wish I would have known it back then so I could have avoided the pain of the experiences.
Have I forgiven those people who have spoke cruelly to me yes, has it helped me yes in some ways but I think confidence will be something I struggle with until I am where I want to be.
To encourage those people who know what I am talking about and feel you can’t do it or not good enough, don’t listen to that, do not let the enemy rob you like he done me. To my friends who read this your encouragement has been valuable to me and has helped me not give up. Another thing Bible college can be great for some.

Misusing the Name

admin — Sun, 25 May 2008 23:52:09 +0000

My Rabbi lately has been speaking a lot about using G-d’s name invane what it means. Often times I believe we as believers are a little unsure of what it means when He tells us not to take his name invane. It is more then just using bad language with his name. It is using it lightly or using it while lying.
Exodus 20:7 “You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
When Moshe the second time was to get water from the rock he was to speak to it. My rabbi pointed out something yesterday I never realized. In Number 20:10 He and Aaron gathered the assembly together in front of the rock and Moses said to them, “Listen, you rebels, must we bring you water out of this rock?”
Moshe misrepresented G-d here, because G-d wasn’t angry with the people. He didn’t want Moshe showing the angry tone. When Moshe Said “we” he included G-d in this, Moshe never said Shall my Brother and I but he said We which would include G-d. Because of this action Moshe was not allowed to enter the promise land.
I have many times heard Pastors and other say Thus saith G-d, and well it really not G-d speaking through them, they are claiming it is G-d to make their words seem more powerful. If G-d hasn’t told us something we are not to say he did, this is miss using his name.
When we represent G-d in a way that does not show his characters which he told us when He told Moshe who he was, we use his name invane.
When we condemn people because of our personal convictions putting our conviction likeluggage and then say G-d told me this and he wants you to do this. We are wrong. Each person will grow and change, the only time we should say G-d told me is when he actually told us and not because it something we feel or think.

Let your yes be yes,

admin — Sun, 25 May 2008 23:31:44 +0000

On Fridays before we meet for Bible Study I always text my friend and make sure she planning on it. She is like a little sister to me, and sometimes she forgets plans she makes with people. I know we are all guilty of this, but sometimes it gets frustrating because for one book to get through which was 5 chapters it took us from September to end of April which is a little discouraging. During the time it seemed like there where many reason not to met for bible study, and hubby and I started to feel a little bite like gee do they really want to do this.
As a Bible Study group we made a Covenant with each other as couples.Sometimes we have problems keeping our Yes to Yes and I sometimes struggle with that too, expecially when I don’t want to deal with things and feeling crabby.
Yesterday was a okay day but a little stressful. They ran late which was good because hubby and I needed some time to calm our selves, someone fall from the 2nd flower balcony. Which is not a good thing but he wasn’t hurt badly. Praise the L-rd.
Yesterday after noon she texted me asking if we would still have bible study. I was happy she decided to keep our plans we had, it shows they are both growing a little in this area. I am proud of them to see the growth. Yeshua in Matthew tells us to keep our yes yes and our no no.
In the JCB, Matthew 5:33-37 Again you have heard that our father were told, ‘Do not break your oath’ and ‘ Keep your vows to Adonai” But I tell you not to swear at all not by heaven because it is G-d’s throne, not by Earth because it is his Footstool, and not by Yerushalayim because it is the city of the Great King and don’t swear on your head becasue you can’t make a single hair white or black. Just let your Yes be a simple Yes and your no a simple No anything more than this has it origins in evil.
In James 5:12 JCB, says Above all, brother stop swearing oaths- Not by heaven Not by the earth not by any other formula rather let your yes be simply yes and your no simply No, so that you won’t fall under condemnation.
I think with this being said it is important to follow through with what we say to someone. If we tell them we will call them we aught to call them, if we tell them we will met them at a certain time and place then we aught to show up for it. I am not saying that if your sick, you still have to show up because sometimes things happen. I am not saying if you find out a friend gets called for duty and leaves that week, and you want to see them off or say goodbye that you can’t do that. I think sometimes there a exception to that rule but when that friend will be around for months and weeks then maybe the plans you made should be kept, so that your other friend don’t wonder what is going to happen.
It’s similar to a bride saying to her bride made I am getting everyone the same bridesmaid gifts, she gets a couple of her bridesmaids something more expensive and nicer, it would be hard for her friends to understand why she would do that to them. They might start wondering what the bride thanks. I know when I was getting married I had a limit of what I could spend on each person but my friend of honor I was willing to spend more but ended up not spending more on her then the others.
It is sometimes a struggle to let our yes be yes and our no be no, so people know more what to expect and now that we can be relied on.

Slightly strange

admin — Thu, 08 May 2008 23:18:40 +0000

Today has been a little strange when it comes to my electronics. Why am I putting it on my faith base blog, well I think it might belong here. I recently decided to get a Insignia which plays the radio, MP3, Videos and ect. Today I found out I won’t be needed for a while at my assignment, maybe they will want me back in a couple of weeks.
Today before this I was praying for my congregation, and praying for others needs in general. This job I can pray all I want and not get in to much trouble. Normally when I am praying people think I am zoning out, and just working like lil ms speedy. I was listening to my MP3 Player, I have mostly worship music on it right now, and I just felt a need to do a little praying and uplifting some burdens I knew about. In the Bible we are told to carry one and other burdens. The Aaronic blessing had just played before I was done praying. I have 46 songs total on there, well I got a call and put my player on pause. It was my company wanting to find out how things where going and they asked me a question so I went and talk to one of the supervisors there. I found out they didn’t need me after this week.
I went back to my work station and had the thought of just great, I pray and I work as hard as I can, but I can’t seem to stay working. I started asking G-d what is wrong with me, and why am I simply not flourishing very much. Let me assure you I was not praying out loud, it was silently. I couldn’t help but ask G-d why, did they pick someone else to stay there over me, who I do more work then. I basically was asking G-d why do I have a good work ethic and I do everything to the best of my ability. Started to ask what am I not learning that I need to be learning. I started to feel so discouraged, about everything, but I started thanking HIM for my mechanic friend who I will be working with part time with this week.
Well I was listening to the songs, and only another 4 songs went by during this time, which isn’t enough songs for my player to be back at the Aaronic Benediction. At first I was a little confused thinking well maybe another song sounds similar, nah that not right! Okay slightly strange but maybe it’s G-d trying to tell me something. Not sure what maybe It’s okay, or I heard you. Not sure what it was but after that I felt at peace about it more then before. I am not sure what would have caused my player to do that but okay I will just have to go with it. I am glad I got the little player it is nice being able to listen to uplifting music at work, the earphones remind me of some designer jewelry.

Banning movies part 2

admin — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 17:20:33 +0000

Deuteronomy 18:10-12 There must not be found among you anyone who makes his son or daughter pass through fire, a diviner, a soothsayer, an enchanter , a sorcerer, a spell caster, a consulter of ghosts or spirits or necromancer. For whoever does these tings is detestable to Adonai because of the abominations Adonai your G-d is driving them out ahead of you.
Micah 5:12 I will cut off sorceries from your land you will no longer have soothsayers. I will cut off your carved images and standing-stones from among you; no longer will you worship what your own hands have made.
We can see in what Christians call Old Testament, that G-d does not like witchcraft at all. If you have knowledge of witchcraft you understand, they worship more then one g-d. I don’t think I need to go into a deep depth of explaining why G-d don’t like it. G-d is a Jealous G-d he tells us this, so of course he don’t want us giving our attention to other g-ds who are false.
In the New Testament we are also warned against practicing this stuff again. So now where does this leave us with movies. I honestly have to think it depends on the person. I have a girl friend who came out of witchcraft. I was the one who lead her to the L-rd, she can not watch Harry Potter or play Video games with this in it. Why because it is tempting to her, this would cause her to stumble. When she comes over I am careful with what games I am going to play because I do not want her to fall into sin because of something I have done.
Personally even with what I understand of the bible I do not have a problem with any of the movies that get blacklist often by fellow Christians unless it will cause someone to stumble. A couple of years ago, I only like a handle of shows, on of them was a show heavily based on witchcraft. Why did I like the show because even compared to some of the Christian shows that show I felt was more clean, and when it did things I serious disagreed with I knew they weren’t like minded. Yet their shows never used G-d name in vane and often time some of the other programs which would have been consider safe by some used G-d name in vane and taught it was okay to go against G-d’s word.
We all have to work out our faith, it is a personal thing between G-d and us. Would I stop watching, Yes I would gladly. I will not do something G-d tells me to stop, but as long as I don’t feel convicted in my spirit I will see nothing wrong with it.
It would be like if my husband wanted to go to Branson resorts and I wanted to go to Disney, I would probably want to let my husband go where he wants, or we’d have to come up with a compromise which works for both of us. With G-d there is no real compromising when I feel lead to change something. Yes G-d has compromised in the Old Testament and he does give us freedom to choose to follow but sometimes it best to just obey and not have consequentness later.

Banning movies part 1

admin — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 16:54:51 +0000

My husband and I both teach children at church. I wouldn’t say I am teaching like my husband because I am not, he teaches the boys and girls who are should be between 10 and 13, although he has some kids in his class younger. My husband expects a lot of his kids, when he first started working with them I gave him some of my knowledge of children and he took that and worked with it. I told him that kids need consistency, and they need to know what is expected of them.
When I lead worship I have expectations of my children, and I am firm in what I believe those children should be giving me. My kids sometimes don’t want to participate and want to be distracting to others, so I figure out ways to deal with it. I know they like some of the action songs, so if they aren’t behaving in some of the not so actiony songs then I won’t do their favorite action song. This is is a way to handle them and teach them respect for those who want to do some of the other songs. I will let a child who doesn’t want to sing but wants to keep rhythm I encourage them to do that and find something for them to use. It is important to work with a kid where they are at and encourage some of their interested while teaching respect for one another.
Yesterday, my husband and I where sitting with a group of girls from his class, and they brought up a couple of movies. I kind of felt bad for one of the girls, because all the movies that the other girls where bring up she was not allowed to watch because her mom and dad felt it had witchcraft, and I am not talking about the movies from “Harry Potter” I am talking about things from Disney. I am talking movie like Beauty and the Beast.
Let me say, I don’t think that the parents are wrong for feeling the need to protect their child. I honestly don’t see any problems with Harry Potter, and many of the Disney movies, if Chronicles of Narnia series is okay. This to have witchcraft, and could be more dangerous to a believing child. It a movie that shows magic use on both sides in my opinion. I have watch Chronicles of Narnia, and Harry potter, yes there are differences in their story lines but you know they are pretty much the same thing.
Now I do have rules in the house for watching TV, and Movies or even going to the movie theater. If G-d name is being used lightly or being used with cussing, I walk out. My husband and I call it our 3 strike rule. A movie or TV program hits it 3 times it out of there. I believe sometimes we need to be more concerned of the language in the movie, and yes if they was showing how to use witchcraft correctly then those movies should black listed by us.
My husband and I recently got Direct TV, through our cable provide it is great. I am still learning a couple of channels to simply avoid, it nice that they are in my apartment and have some fiber optic cables providing services.
There are several places in the bible that warn us against practicing witchcraft, so I understand where the parents are coming from but not all Disney shows do that, I will say Harry Potter walks a fence of it, but I think there some lessons in that movie about survival and sometimes about doing the right things even if you don’t want to. Now I will say if you are raising your child as a believer, and they watch Harry Potter and want to be just like him, it would probably be wise to discourage him or her.

Do the right thing

admin — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:26:02 +0000

My husband and I have been married for 20 months. We are newly weds but at the same time not so newly wedded. We love each other and waited until we got married before doing anything with each other, shoot we didn’t even hold hands or kiss. Not because we weren’t attracted to each other but because we didn’t want to cross over any lines that would make it hard for us to stop. We took our Rabbi advise very seriously. My husband was the first guy I have had a relationship that didn’t go to hell in a hand basket. I never gave into what men wanted but I found it hard because I started to feel like what wrong with me.
My Rabbi early in our relationship warned us not to get involved, because it would hurt our trust in each other. Rabbi is right the guys I dated very short term I couldn’t trust because I felt they where out for one thing only. I wanted to wait for the man G-d had for me, and I felt not waiting would be like committing adultery, and it probably would have been seen as adultery. I trust my husband because I know he waited for a long time before, and if he could wait for that then shoot I don’t have much to worry about. In Proverbs 6:20-35 it warns against committing adultery, through out the Torah and other books of the Old Testiment we are warned against committing adultery. We are warned against committing adultery on G_d, He tells us he is a jealous G-d.
What amazes me that the church in general keeps a good 98 percent of the bible but then they throw out the sabbath. I was talking to a pastor a few weeks ago, about the Sabbath and he told me he knew G-d never changed the Sabbath. I asked him, why don’t you change your services to the Sabbath he told me he was worried the church would quit going. Well, maybe if he would make a effort to change something his congregation would be happier and most congregations after they understand why something is being done they will follow their leadership as long as leadership hasn’t totally broke trust with them.
Sometimes it seems that pastor would rather have their gold cufflinks and fancy cars, that they aren’t so welling to listen to G-d and do what they know to be right.

Who are we at church

admin — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 01:30:20 +0000

This morning I had a conversation with a friend, we talked about how we need to be the same people in church or our synagogue’s as we are in public or at home. We were talking about how sometimes we can start acting one way when we’re with friends and another with other friends because we do not want them to change their opinion of us or we want them to think highly of us.
I have always acted the same way as I do at church, or home or when I am with some friends. It don’t matter to me, I would rather be me and not worry about friends becoming mad at me for being something I am not. I learned this lesson several years ago the hard way. I had a friend and because they were hard and difficult people, I tried to be like that to so I would fit in with that group. One day one of them told me you know, we don’t like you any more because your not being yourself. This was a painful lesson.
After this I decided to not be anyone but me, that it was okay and the only one I would change for is G-d. This has been a good thing because when G-d convicts me to change it easier to change and it ends up being a easier change, and a permanent change. I have heard sermons which have convicted me and after being convicted I tried changing… I have also learned when I try to change to make my Rabbi or Pastor happy it don’t work and the change is always surface.
Its like Branson private golf it a private thing between me and the L-rd and no one can cause a change in me but HIM or I.

Not her guilt to carry

admin — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 23:02:04 +0000

It hard to know when to listen, and when to know a thought might just be a bad thought. A few years ago, I went through something horrible. I had asked my best friend, a what if this happens to me. What will I do. My best friend told me, maybe I should not go. Today she told me that she holds guilt for one of the worst events in my life. Guilt that is not hers to bear or carry. She did not cause it, it was not her fault and she did tell me not to go.
I told her if anyone is at fault and has any guilt between the two of us it was me, because I was the one who had the what if question. I was the one that said what was going to happen and I did not listen to it. Hind site is 20/20 you always know what you should do. I can say all I want I should have stayed home. I should not have lift, but it doesn’t change the fact I trust this person more then my own self, more then the gifting G-d had given me.
I know G-d will show us things, he will speak to us. I even knew then that he spoke to us. But I did not realize it was him. It has taken me years to let go of the guilt I had, of the blame I placed on me.
I have been told by many Christians, how could you put yourself into that situation. This harmed me more then did me any good. People do not choose to put themselves into bad situations. People do not ask to be broken and destroyed. I did not tell this person to harm me the way they did but they choose their actions. Grant it I choose not to listen to my best friend. But this person who was claiming to be of G-d wasn’t, they where a wolf in sheep clothing. They fooled all of us that knew them. Do I regret trust them, yes I do but regret will not change what happened.
I was took away from the safety of my home, and pulled through 4 different States to go through hell. It was the loneliest time I have ever experienced. I even felt like G-d was gone. I know he wasn’t G-d never leaves and I believe that it during those times of great pain and suffering that G-d is his closest to us. We just can’t sense that he is there because of the pain we have.
The event I went though was a horrible deal and my best friend should not feel guilty, I got the travel deals
I do not know why I had to experience what I did, I know it not my fault and I know it not my best friends, I know G-d did not tell this person to do their evil act because G-d is not evil. That person had a choose he used G-d name to do it and that is on him, it his sin.
We need to know just because someone is claiming G-d and claiming G-d said to do something, we need to make sure it matches up with G-d character. G-d Character is not total destruction of a person, or harming a person so deeply that they lose faith. G-d does correct his people but his correction of his children isn’t like what some evil people have claimed it is. I wish I knew how to make my friend see that it not her guilt to carry, if anyone should be carrying it, it’s me. I am the one who lift even though she told me maybe you should say. It don’t matter that she told me it was my choose. It was and I made a bad choice but to be honest it not my fault that he choose his actions, and he choose to use G-d name in vain. Sorry if this isn’t clear for some of my readers.

Taking time to know G-d

admin — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 17:27:06 +0000

We know Isaiah was a prophet of G-d, how do you think Isaiah became a Prophet of G-d? Did he do this by not spending any time with G-d, or do you think maybe he spent time walking with fellowshipping with G-d. When the Spirit of G-d came he said Woe is me, for I am a people of Unclean lips Isaiah 6:5. Isaiah didn’t say My people have unclean lips but that he to had unclean lips he identified with the People as if he also was one of them which he was. When Isaiah Prayed he did not have the outline which Yeshua gave for us to follow, he prayed and spoke to G-d but I am fairly certain it would have been similar to Yeshua L-rd’s Prayer.

Isaiah had to take the time to get to know G-d, and his commandments. He had to walk with G-d but Isaiah also had to trust G-d and believe G-d would do the things G-d had promised. Often times we pray and ask G-d for things, but we do not believe G-d will or we might think G-d to busy he has better things to do. He don’t have the time for me. G-d has time for every single person here and in Heaven with him, because he doesn’t function in the same little box we try to sometimes place him into.

When it was close to Yeshua death when he had his Disciples praying with him, and his disciples all fall asleep. I am pretty sure they did this because they where discouraged and sadden by the knowledge they have had. It is not easy knowing your friend and mentor will not be with you much longer to be honest it sad. I have had people in my life who where leaders and mentors who moved away or passed away. I know the pain that comes along with losing them. One nice thing about losing a leader who moves you can stay in contact with them, and still talk to them maybe not face to face but they are still there. This is how I see Yeshua when he lift his disciples because He raised from the dead, but was not going to be walking with them, all they had to do is pray and he would hear them.

Yeshua went back to G-d to prepare a place for them and us, but at least it won’t be the approach of land for sale and having to fight with one an other for the land we want.